A Kinder Way

I am 49 years old (closing in on 50 in March) and even though science says we stop having physical growth spurts when we are teenagers I hope that I’ll continue to have mental, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual growth spurts until the day I die.

I feel that a growth spurt is on the horizon.

This excites me.

This also causes anxiety and fear as well, but excitement is the most prevalent feeling and that in itself is evidence of my past growth.

When you have OCD you really do fear (even hate) change. Being comfortable is something that is sought out and almost impossible to find so when you are faced with the option to stay in the familiar spot you have currently created or venture outside of it….. it takes a lot of effort to move.

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“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both.” 

-Brene Brown

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Growth spurts come in all shapes and sizes. Some are monumental and everyone around you can see them. (Not that that is a good thing)

Others may be inconsequential to the outside world, but life-changing for you personally. And let’s go even deeper. There are also growth spurts that are the slow-burning kind. The ones that you don’t actually feel, but instead you wake up one morning and you just know you are not the same person you were before.

I’m partial to slow-burning growth. Maybe because of the whole hating/fearing change. There is just something about small changes made for long periods of time that produce huge changes that feels really magical to me. No loud proclamiation or mass planning. Just tiny inches forward in the direction you are being pulled until one day you arrive in a new place (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, intellectually hell…even physically!) and you are reaping the benefits of this growth. Maybe that’s not a ”spurt” so to speak but you get the idea.

Today as I sit here typing I feel the pull, the itch, the need, the desire for something that is just outside of my grasp. That is how I know I am headed into a big growth spurt. That strange antsy feeling that THIS place where I am now is not enough.

So what do I do now?

Well, my go-to course of action when I get the itch is to stop. Stop looking. Stop searching.

Get quiet. Be still.

and LISTEN.

This works for me. The answer always shows up. The pull becomes stronger and I follow those instincts. I’m not sure where I will end up but the direction becomes clear.

I’ll end where I started….I’m excited to see where this growth spurt leads me. I’m hopeful and grateful and ready.

Your turn….What do you do when these feelings come knockin? Let me know in the comments below.