I saw this quote a while back from Dr. Rebecca Ray. It stayed with me. I’ve traveled back to it time and time again because I’m not a natural sitter. What is IT? A problem, a trauma, pain, confusion, hurt, frustration indecision…anxiety.
The quote is powerful. Take a look.
“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.”
Dr. Rebecca Ray
Confession…. I’ve never been a good sitter. However, I was a lifelong self-medicator. Doing whatever it took to avoid sitting with something. First, it was food and approval. Then it was alcohol and approval. Then I looped back to food and yes, you guessed it, approval. Today there is no alcohol, and the food is rarely the kind we seek out for comfort. That pesky approval still rears its needy head from time to time but as a whole, I’ve had to find other ways to cope.
Being diagnosed with OCD nearly 2 decades ago helped to explain my inability to sit with anything, but even with OCD, I’ve had to figure out a few things that work.
EFT tapping, meditation, nature, music, and my guiltiest of pleasures, TikTok all help but it still takes dedicated effort to sit in pain/anger/fear/sadness/and the biggie….. uncertainty, instead of acting or reacting to all the heavy stuff around me.
Lately, my life has been in a constant state of change. Change scares the shit out of me. Plain and simple. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I love being in control and change challenges that.
Some of the changes were planned and preparations were made to make them as easy as possible. Others felt like blindsides and some are problems I chose to bury away because I wasn’t strong enough to deal with them yet. All these changes have bubbled to the surface at the same exact time.
To be completely transparent, I’m pretty proud of myself for even having the energy to be here typing out these words. It’s a testament to how far I’ve come in my ability to deal with life unfolding as it does.
But still, I struggle.
My ”sitting with it” is not pretty. It’s not peaceful. It’s not all deep breathing and mantras.
It’s a lot of sighing, crying, and staring off into nothingness. A lot of processing quietly, binge-watching tv shows I’ve seen a million times, long showers, and naps.
For me, ”sitting with it” means that I have enough self-worth to give myself time to truly process something before I act or react.
And as the clever Dr. Rebecca Ray said…”Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.”
So I ask you…Can you sit with it?