‘Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love all start with self. Stop looking outside yourself for your value.’
When I first read this quote all I could do was nod my head. Yup, I thought…there ya go.
Rob Liano is speaking the truth. I have up close and personal experience with looking outside of myself for ALL those things. It was not easy to admit this truth to myself (enter shame and embarrassment) and of course, admitting is only the first step, after that, it’s time to get down in the dirt and heal it. Yikes!
The best piece of advice I can give is quite simple. It’s not original or something I claim to have come up with. I think Dr.Phil was the first person I heard say it…
We teach people how to treat us.
If we don’t see our value…our worth….it shows. It radiates from our very pores. We may as well be walking around with a huge arrow over our head pointing us out to allllll the asses in the land saying….
‘This one right here is ripe for the picking! She will put up with your shit and take on your issues as if they are her own. She will take what you feel like giving with a smile and say thank you! She will allow you to walk all over her and she might even apologize for being lumpy under your feet.’
But you know what’s worse than all that? The battle we do internally when we don’t love, value and respect ourselves. We want so desperately to be good enough…smart enough…funny enough…talented enough. We want to simply BE enough.
We just have to decide that we are. It’s not easy. It’s downright hard to build up the confidence it takes to change the way others look at you. It feels like an unattainable goal. I get it!! Years of being viewed a certain way will not change without major effort, but it’s worth it in the end because you are worth it.
I’ll let you in on a secret. Once I decided that I was going to love myself, respect myself and value all that I am, I stopped caring about who knew it. The people who view me as less than move on. The ones who want to fix me move on. And all those voids fill up with people who value me and treat me with respect. (and if they don’t, the relationships or interactions are short-lived)
When we truly value ourselves there is a new arrow over our heads. This one is warm and inviting and makes people SEE the real you. Because when someone really has that self-love thing, they give off a certain energy that attracts others. And there is enough of that energy for all of us!
If this is something you struggle with, start small. Be kinder to yourself. Be forgiving towards yourself. Be gentle with yourself. In time and with practice you will see just how worthy and magnificent and freaking amazing you are.
It all starts with SELF.
Kindly, with love and light~